(I wrote this a week ago but am not just getting to posting)
So last Thursday (May 31st)was our 3 year anniversary. I am so blessed to be married to such an amazing woman! God has honored me with not only the sweetest girl ever, but the most beautiful and attractive woman that has ever walked the face of the earth! Grrrr…. *raises eyebrows* OK, I’ll spare you guys the rest, you get the picture: I’m madly in love with my wife!
And you know what else is so cool about her, she is so understanding and forgiving. I was thinking back to before we were married and all the stuff we went through… there was this one time that I got a little out of hand at a party and made out with that other girl and Bwige was OK with that. Most girls would have clawed my eyes out but she didn’t. She just smiled and said she loved me. And all those times that I was on those pornographic websites staring at other women doing illicit things… she just looked the other way. My wife is so great! And I hate to even mention this… but the fact that she still married me after what I did at the strip joint the night before the wedding… she just loves me… she just loves me.
OK, pick your jaw up off the floor. If you have not figured it out yes, the second paragraph is totally made up – so no spreading rumors. (Just for the record, I have always been totally faithful to Brigette in thought, word, and deed.) However, I said those things for a reason. If Brigette were a good woman, she would not sit idly by and smile as I did those things. She would not be ok with me sleeping with other women, or looking at illicit images, or letting my eyes wander to bad places when we are walking at the mall. She would dump me in a heartbeat until I was able to prove, long term, that I am able to control myself. Its not that she wouldn’t love me, but that in order to have a relationship with her, I must be faithful. Only a fool will go into a relationship with an unfaithful partner (and on a side note… why would any girl have an affair with a married man? If he would cheat and leave his current wife, why in the world wouldn’t he do the same when something younger and prettier comes along? DUH!) (sorry for the rant)
Fidelity is key in a marriage relationship. I am hers and she is mine. I am not just faithful to her most of the time. I am not just faithful to her as long as it is possible for me. I am faithful to her no matter what even if that means me dying for her. I will lay down my life in a second for her. I will honor her in every way possible at every moment possible. That includes both taking a bullet for her, and taking out the trash for her; they are simply different forms of the same love and faithfulness which can not be separated.
So what would be acceptable for me as a husband? Ignoring her request to take out the trash even though I ALWAYS do it and I’m so ridiculously tired of doing it week in and week out? What about speaking harshly to her for not having dinner ready when I get home? Am I allowed to talk bad about her to my friends? Am I allowed to snap at her because I have had a bad day? Can I let my eyes wander onto the bodies of other women? My mind?
In the end, the question is, how much am I allowed to dishonor her? If I am a good husband, the answer is not at all. None of the above things are acceptable. Ever.
Now, I’m not saying that I live up to this high standard, but I strive harder every day. I do and will mess up, but when I do it hurts me that I have sinned against her. I have damaged my bride. That grieves me so I ask her forgiveness and strive to not only rectify the situation, but prevent further infractions. How could I do any differently? She is my princess. My cherished one. My dove. How could I possibly want to do anything that would insult her name or harm her in thought, word, or deed? If I really love her, I can not.
Now, this is written from the perspective of a groom, but if my wife were writing it, very little would change. She loves me. And if she truly loves me, she would never do anything to insult my name or harm me in thought word or deed. If someone insulted me in front of her and she just sat quietly by and didn’t say anything, that would be shameful! Even worse, if there were people who went so far as to use my name as an insult to someone else and she had no problem listening to that… her love for me could be questioned.
My bride loves me and would defend my name. And if it meant her not doing a certain activity because the people there did nothing but shame me, she’d be out of there in a second. If that meant dropping her friends that were trying to turn her against me, she’d do it in a heartbeat. Our love, our relationship, our marriage is more important than that activity or that friend.
As a Christian, you are Christ's bride. All the love and devotion Brigette has for me you are supposed to have for Jesus, your Bridegroom.
In Isaiah 54, God says to the Israelites, “For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.” Jeremiah says in chapter 3, “Return, faithless people,” declares the LORD, “for I am your husband. I will choose you—one from a town and two from a clan—and bring you to Zion.” I am the bride of Christ. The messiah of the universe is my Groom.
We are the bride of Christ…
I am the bride of Christ… I’ve been thinking about that for a few days now and I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. What does this mean for how I live my life? Am I OK with watching movies and TV where the name of God is used as a curse? Am I ok with watching shows that teach me to dishonor my Groom? Should I entertain myself in any way that dishonors my Beloved?
If I truly love Him, how can I? How can I sit and watch a show that promotes the things that God hates? In all reality, if we are honest about it, when we go to the movies that promote foul language, sex, violence, rebellion, the machismo guy, self sufficiency, we are telling God that our entertainment is more important than us honoring his name and following his commands. No, not his suggestions, or his hints, or nudges, but his bold outright commands. Do not fraternize with the culture. Period. No questions asked.
Look at what God says in Deuteronomy when the Israelites were about to move into a new land.
Dt 7:1 When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations— [long list of names], seven nations larger and stronger than you— 2 and when the LORD your God has delivered them over to you and you have defeated them, then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them, and show them no mercy. 3Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD'S anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you. 5 This is what you are to do to them: Break down their altars, smash their sacred stones, cut down their Asherah poles and burn their idols in the fire. 6 For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. (verses 7-10 are good too. Also, see Dt 6:13-19 and Ex 34:15-16)
Yes, this is harsh, but God wrote it not me. (And no, I’m not advocating going around and smashing things…) I say this because it shows God’s feelings towards us assimilating into the culture. We are not supposed to do it. We are supposed to be set apart, which by the way is the definition of Holy (not perfect and righteous). We are supposed to be pure for him. We are supposed to be his bride, pure and spotless.
And I’m scared that many who say they are part of the church have intermarried with the culture. We have been infested with things that are detestable in the sight of God.
Look at what 2 Peter 3 says, “ 10But the day of the Lord will come like a thief… 11Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives 12as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming.[b]… 14So then, dear friends, since you are looking forward to this, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with him.
Spotless. That means no blemeshes. Pure, like a newly washed white sheet.
And yah, if we start to look like Jesus we are going to stick out in the culture. But why is that a bad thing? Jesus didn’t blend in; he stuck out like a sore thumb. Why? Because the people he hung out with were so different then him – aka, he didn’t live in a nice little Christian bubble. He lived completely holy, and completely perfectly, and was not at all sucked in and made to look like the culture around him. And did lost people run? No, they flocked to him. All this he did living in the culture but not being of it.
Why have we gotten it in our heads that we have to look like the culture to be relevant? Jesus was night and day from the culture and he was constantly mobbed by people who wanted to be around him and hear what he had to say. Why should we strive for anything different?
2 comments:
Hmmm... this sounds a lot like something my dearest husband would write. I wonder if he's found the link to your blog I put on our blog. I am very sneaky and figured out how to do it all by myself. Congratz on the anniversary; our first is in two months! Yay for marriage!
Yes, I noticed, Beloved. I love you, btw.
And Helen is right, that does sound like something that I would write.... almost. You're contradicting yourself, Stephen. You say that Christ was "night and day" different from the culture and He didn't worry about being "relevant." But in your previous post you pointed out that He used agricultural parables in an agricultural society. So which is it?
I appreciate the phrases "Jesus Freak" and "Resident Alien" to describe our situation here, but they only go so far. Are we supposed to become freakish aliens to whom no one can relate? Are we supposed to flaunt our pure white forgiveness as something others should want? Are we supposed to become our own little click of righteous purists? No, to all of the above.
Again, you're focusing on the wrong thing. You are much closer, but still off. YOU CANNOT BEHAVE PURELY!! It is not possible. You CANNOT honor God appropriately, it is not possible. The only way to be pure, is for God to give you the grace of forgiveness. The only way for you to honor God is to enjoy the grace that He pours down on you.
It is not about you. It's not about you behaving a certain way. God is not interested in behavior modification. It's not about you making yourself presentable to God. Your righteous acts are as filthy rags. It's not about you preventing the defamation of His name. He doesn't need you to defend Him. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
If you were to find the perfect spring of water (living water, if you will), what would be the most perfect expression of how perfect that spring's water is? Do you give it everything you can and throw your bucket of mud into it? NO! You drink from it!
The most perfect expression of worship for God is recognizing that you are nothing. You can do nothing. You can honor nothing. You must be filled with His living water. You only ARE because you are filled by Him. You only DO what He makes you capable of doing. You can only honor Him because He has made you honorable.
What you can do is worthless. You must have His grace. You must be filled with His Holy Spirit. You must allow yourself to be covered by His Son. Can you generate grace on your own? Can you suck His Holy Spirit into yourself? Can you crawl underneath the righteousness of Jesus Christ under your own power? All of these things must be done by God, under His power, and at His behest. You can only accept His grace by understanding His glory and the glory of His Son. You can only be filled by the Holy Spirit by understanding the glory of the Holy Spirit and the glory of His Son. You can only accept the righteousness of Jesus Christ by understanding the glory of His sacrifice.
Christ is the center of it all. Your purity is nothing, if YOU are doing it. Your honor of Him is dishonor if YOU are doing it. YOUR righteousness is as filthy rags.
Yes, you are His bride, but you are also His creation. You are only pure because He made you so.
Nothing comes before Christ, not even good behavior.
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